Thursday, February 28, 2013

Divine Abandonment...the true sad story.

Greetings my dear fellow apes,

The last post know..the one about the elusive intergalactic travelers,  has generated a lot of responses from fellow earthlings and  also from the Great Beyond....a lot of these responses have been fact some people have refrained from using more than five swear words per sentence...others put it mildly..have had a slightly agitated tone.

 Mr Bappi Lahiri has threatened to sue me for spreading malicious falsehoods about him. He says his ego has been mortally hurt by him being called a native of the Andromeda Galaxy.I humbly apologize to him for my folly . Per Capita gold holding on the inhabited planet systems of Andromeda is only 17.56 tonnes, and Mr Lahiri would rather not be associated with such a pauperish place. New rumors that are floating now suggest that he is actually not from any planet system  but from the asteroid Eros, which,you guessed  it, is made of nothing but solid ,pure, sparkling, gold.

Another angry response has been received from the Galactic Overhaulers and Developers Inc., a company engaged in buying out black holes for peanuts and overhauling them , and developing new private resort planets ..complete with designer mountains...flora and fauna as per demand..and flush toilets,and golf courses that tilt automatically according to the owner's handicap , for the galactic super rich. The promoters are the same ,once idealistic,nerdy former research scholars who failed to earn their doctorates when their project grant was withdrawn..with regret.

They say that ,after they had earned their trillions in real estate evening ,after a couple of rounds of Vulcan good stuff , they all got all teary eyed about their good ol' days..and they did try to come back and see what they can do about their former test subjects. They hopped into their new sports ,quantum jumping ,space ship and set course to earth.The mood was good...the bottle was still being passed around..singing becoming louder.

They traveled a few hundred light years ...entered the Milky Way..took a left turn from the Great Bear constellation. The blue green abandoned former laboratory was now only 10 light years away.

Suddenly ,without warning ,the ship shuddered,flipped from side to side and did a cart wheel..or two.. The ship’s on board computer fired its logic engines on the turbo mode and made multiple quantum jumps through multiple dimensions. The travelers saw kaleidoscopic, psychedelic lights zap by...and then complete .., black as a politician’s heart, darkness.

It took a fleet of dimension jumping rescue ships to finally extract them from the parallel universe ,(where they picked up a fight with themselves and got beaten up by themselves...but that's another story )

The ship's organic, pulsating, high EQ, on board computer was taken to an R & D planet , and examined. The computer was, to put in plain words, inconsolable. It was a morbidly historic moment.  For the first time in the history of the universe..a computer was displaying signs of clinical manic depression and was suicidal. It had overloaded its own neuron circuits and was slowly melting itself to death.It was too late to do anything for it.One of the younger technicians had the presence of mind to quickly back up the remaining data . Then, the team decided to examine the data for the last intergalactic voyage.

We will never know ,in totality , what actually happened, except that the ship's computer had accidently picked up some highly infected data from the zillions of mega Hertz s of radio waves in the space.Once the team replayed the data , a chain reaction set in.The R & D planet's core melted and it imploded.

 In the radius of 9 light years, all organic neuron computers had a meltdown.All the ships in this kill zone ,either atomized completely or made quantum leaps into unknown dimensions, never to be found again.An area of 12 light years was quarantined for ever.

  The young technician was the only one who could get out..barely alive, in an escape capsule, which with a totally outdated on- board computer (without high EQ),escaped the carnage. Before he turned into a complete vegetable, he would sometime open all his six eyes wide and scratch a strange symbol on any surface within reach......and the symbol was... "K" .

All voyages towards the Milky Way were banned for ever. The area was blacked out in all galactic maps.

The Galactic Overhaulers and Developers inc. survived the crisis ...but the promoters vowed never to even think of their former test subjects. Earthlings were abandoned again..this time for ever.

Meanwhile on Earth, Ms Ekta Kkapoor launched her new daily soap .." Kkaise Kkaroon Main Aur Kkamai ".

The transmissions, in the form of high energy radio waves , reached the sun in eight minutes and then started their journey into the  intergalactic space, at the speed of light, towards another unsuspecting alien civilization.

So the Preaching Monkey says , that the question raised in the post "Big Alien Question " will soon be irrelevant. We will soon be alone......

The Preaching Monkey is signing out .....and will try to be regular in posting...


1 comment:

  1. Hmmmm ! you sure have a way with words. Entertaining read!...........Anurag